Clarification and justification of episode 18 and 19
Episodes 18 and 19 of Chinese Paladin fail to fully capture the intricate depth of Zhao Ling’er’s character, portrayed by Crystal Liu Yifei. I want to take a moment to share my thoughts and offer a richer perspective that goes beyond the surface reading of Ling’er as cold or indifferent toward Xiao Yao. Questions like, “Why doesn’t Ling’er just leave him instead of lingering?” deserve a deeper exploration.
From the outset, Ling’er loves Xiao Yao with unwavering passion, and he reciprocates that affection just as deeply. As viewers, we can see that her desire for his happiness is paramount; his joy means the world to her. During their tumultuous separation, she grapples with her identity, even contemplating suicide under the mistaken belief that she is a snake demon. This heartbreaking struggle leads her to a significant realization: she is a descendant of Nu Wa, carrying the heavy mantle of responsibility as the Princess of Nan Zhao Guo.
Yet, despite her noble intentions, other characters often misunderstand Ling’er. Xiao Yao and Yue Ru perceive her behavior as peculiar and distant, completely unaware of the emotional scars she bears. Throughout their time apart, Ling’er witnesses Yue Ru developing feelings for Xiao Yao. Their camaraderie, though often filled with playful banter, intensifies her sense of isolation. Ling’er feels like a burden, believing that her responsibilities to her people and her complex feelings for Xiao Yao prevent her from offering him the happiness he deserves.
After much soul-searching, she agonizingly decides to break up with Xiao Yao. When he confronts her about this choice, refusing to accept it without a clear reason, she feels cornered. In a desperate attempt to shield him from her turmoil, she begins to act as if she no longer loves him, often spending time with Tang Yu or Jin Yuan to create distance.
This raises a poignant question: why, if Ling’er has supposedly broken up with Xiao Yao, does she continue to stay close to him at the same inn? Her presence isn’t merely an act of lingering attachment; it reflects the complex interplay of duty, love, and sacrifice. Even as she decides to part ways, Ling’er remains tethered to Xiao Yao, embodying the painful struggle between her heart and her responsibilities. This dynamic enriches her character, revealing a depth that deserves acknowledgment beyond the surface-level misunderstandings of her actions.
The reality is that you can’t simply stop loving someone, nor can you forget a deep love overnight. Ling’er deserves understanding because it’s clear that Xiao Yao wants her to stay, and he finds joy in her presence, even after she expresses her desire to break up. No matter how much she tries to distance herself, he knows she still loves him, and he will always love her in return. Ling’er feels a strong urge to leave him, but her heart resists; her need to part ways clashes with her feelings.
This struggle is why neither Ling’er nor Xiao Yao wants to leave each other. They create excuses to stay together at the inn for as long as possible, even if it’s just for one more day. When one suggests a reason to remain, the other quickly lightens up and agrees to extend their time together. These episodes illustrate the difficulty they face in making the decision to officially separate; it’s a painful process for both of them. They go to great lengths to avoid letting go of each other.
Ling’er attempts to act as if she no longer loves Xiao Yao, displaying coldness toward him and indifference toward whoever he spends time with, like Yue Ru. This leads to misunderstandings, with many supporters of Yue Ru claiming Ling’er is undeserving of Xiao Yao because she seems to push him away, while Yue Ru is portrayed as nurturing. However, if we take a step back, we see that Xiao Yao trusts Ling’er to have his best interests at heart. He believes she doesn’t mean to hurt him, and deep down, she still loves him.
Yue Ru, on the other hand, is unaware of Ling’er’s true feelings. She assumes Ling’er doesn’t care for Xiao Yao and believes she can be the one to heal his heart. While we can’t blame Yue Ru for her assumptions, as viewers, we know the truth: every action taken by either character causes them both pain. They try to hide their hurt, always putting on smiles to reassure one another. Behind closed doors, however, they both cry each night, demonstrating just how deeply they love each other. As the saying goes, the one you love can hurt you the most.
Given this context, it’s perplexing that some still blame Ling’er for her actions. There’s no reason to dislike her, especially knowing the emotional turmoil she endures. Some Yue Ru supporters seize the opportunity to criticize Ling’er’s character, attempting to position Yue Ru as the better choice for Xiao Yao. While everyone is entitled to their opinion about who they want Xiao Yao to be with, claiming that Ling’er is unworthy of him lacks substantial grounding.
Yes, Ling’er hurt him, but his enduring love for her demonstrates the strength of their connection. Their feelings for each other far surpass anything we see between Xiao Yao and Yue Ru. Some argue that Ling’er doesn’t realize the extent of her actions’ impact on him, but the truth is that it pains her just as much. She believes it’s better for him to feel this hurt now than to suffer greater pain in the future, especially if it means protecting him from potential dangers in battle. Pushing a loved one toward another is a heartbreaking decision, yet that’s what she feels compelled to do.
This further clarifies why Xiao Yao doesn’t truly love Yue Ru. Even without his memories of the past, he remains deeply devoted to Ling’er, despite having no obligation to love her or any knowledge of their marriage. Time and again, no matter how much Yue Ru does for him, he never sees her in the same light as Ling’er—not even close. When Ling’er hints at Yue Ru’s affection for him, he barely registers it. In fact, during the scene at the inn when Yue Ru pretends to be affectionate with him, he reacts with discomfort. When she confesses her love, his response is flat: “I’m not #7,” showing that he doesn’t feel the same spark.
Despite Ling’er’s attempts to push Xiao Yao away, she ultimately realizes that her efforts are in vain; he still loves her and always will. In a moment of selflessness, Xiao Yao decides to break up with her, not wanting to make things harder for her. He understands that she has her reasons, and he wishes her all the best. Their bond is built on a profound trust; even after their breakup, Xiao Yao knows Ling’er’s actions stem from something deeper than mere hurt.
In a poignant moment, they reach a compromise and cherish each other’s company one last time, sharing a beautiful scene surrounded by red dandelions—a symbol of their enduring connection.
After the breakup, when Yue Ru confesses her love, Xiao Yao feels an obligation to reciprocate. He perceives her attention and support as something he owes her, and so he tries to return her feelings. Yet, even in those moments with Yue Ru, his thoughts drift to Ling’er.
This highlights how his emotional investment lies with Ling’er, underscoring the profound difference in his feelings for her versus those for Yue Ru. Ultimately, his devotion to Ling’er remains unshakeable, even as he navigates the complexities of his relationships.
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